Chapter One

When Ryan and I first met, he was always talking about getting away and moving to the country.  The city of Bridgeport was too fast and too crowded, he said.  He wanted a plot of land where he could have a horse, some cows, some chickens; grow crops - really live off the land. I thought he was kidding.  We started dating and he still had this desire to get away from the city.  "When I'm old enough and done with high school, I'm moving away from here and going to find a place that's quieter; the country."  I never really thought he'd do it.

I could tell that Ryan wasn't happy though. His face and mannerisms showed it; the smiles that never quite reached his eyes or the laughs that sounded hollow.  I felt bad for him.  I could tell as we continued to date through high school that Ryan was serious. He was not happy in the city.  I never thought twice about it. Bridgeport had subways that would easily take you end-to-end, loads of places to go hang out, restaurants to eat at, high rises that allowed you to see clear out to the ocean.  I loved the city life. But I had also fallen for Ryan.  When were in our senior years - grade 11 - when I told Ryan that I would support him with anything he wanted; and if moving away from the city was what would make him happy then I supported that.

Ryan and I had been dating since the beginning of high school, but we had first met and became friends in grade school.  I don't really know what it was about Ryan, but something really spoke to me about him, and we really just clicked. Ryan was everything to me.  When Ryan took me to the park on a warm summer afternoon during our final year in high school, I didn't have to think twice when he asked me to marry him. I said yes immediately. Of course I would marry him. He was my best friend, and the other half of my soul. How could I not marry him?

When Ryan told me that he had been doing some research and that Appaloosa Plains was the place that we would go and start our lives, I was surprised but I promised that I would support him.  He had been saving money from the part-time job he had during high school to be able to buy a plot of land and build a little house.  I, too, had been squirreling money away from my part-time job at the theatre. I didn't have any plans for it; so I told Ryan I would help with the expenses of our first home.  I couldn't believe that we would have our own home and live so far away from the city.

Watching Ryan's face light up as he talked to me about it was enough incentive for me to begin to like the idea. Living off the land could be fun; watching things grow that we planted.  I liked the idea of building our home over time; watching the fruits of our labour and our hard work pay off.  By the time we left Bridgeport, I was completely on board with Ryan's dream.

Ryan and I were married in a church in Bridgeport, surrounded by our friends and family, on a warm spring afternoon. It was a beautiful ceremony that spoke of promise for the future. I saw Ryan's looks of love and I was certain that by his side is where I was meant to be. I envisioned our life together; raising our children and growing old together.

Our friends wished us well, and made us promise when we move that we'd keep in touch. I promised friends I'd keep up with them over Plumbook, email and phone calls. We made plans to get together often. Everyone knew that we would be moving to Appaloosa Plains. Ryan said we'd move to our new town at the end of winter.  He wanted to go and sort out a plot of land and have a small house built for us first. We'd start off small, of course, but as our needs and money grew, so could our home. He made it sound so easy, like it would be paradise in this quiet sleepy town that we'd be calling home.

Winter passed and spring arrived, and it was time to move. We didn't have much that we were bringing with us, just our clothing and the bedroom suite that we had received as a wedding gift from his parents. I tried to remain upbeat for Ryan, but it was a sad moment for me. I was saying good bye to a life I knew, and moving to the unknown. It would be a town with people we did not know, without friends or family there.  There were no subways or skyscrapers or riverboats. People had horses, and there were larger spaces between houses.  Ryan saw it as an adventure while I was rather worried.

We said our good-byes to the parents, promising them to keep in touch. My mother-in-law made me promise to tell her the moment I was carrying her first grandchild. Ryan and I had not even discussed having children. We got in the truck and Ryan drove off. His expression spoke volumes; he was like a child, excited over their newest adventure.  I watched as the lights of the city disappeared in the rear view mirror until the darkness of the road swallowed us and Bridgeport was just a dim glow on the horizon behind us.

When the truck pulled into Appaloosa Plains I wondered briefly if I was able to commit to life here, but one look at Ryan's face and the vibe of excitement I was getting off him as we entered the town said it all for me. Of course I would be able to commit to life here. It made Ryan very happy; and I'm sure with some effort, it would make me happy too.

I watched the scenery pass by as the truck made its way along the road. I had to admit, it was very beautiful in a rustic sort of way.  We passed by farms and cheerful little houses, a large equestrian centre, and quaint looking little shops. It was late when we arrived, so the town was mostly sleeping.   A few minutes later, Ryan pulls the truck over.  There is a small little house on a large plot of land. "This is it! Don't you love it?" Ryan asked me, smile lighting up the dim truck. I blinked at him a little confused. "Sweetie, this is our new home! C'mon!"

Ryan was out of the truck in a flash and around to open my door. I climbed out and he took my hand and led me up to the house. It was small, but it looked lovely. He took a key out of his pocket and opened the door. I walked in with him.  The living room wasn't furnished yet, but it had a fireplace and enough space for him and me.  The kitchen was off to the right. The room was a nice open atmosphere and it felt homey, even without furniture. I smiled at Ryan. "This is really lovely!"

Ryan's eyes sparkled and his smile lit up the room. "I'm so glad you like it! We'll buy some furniture and really make it ours." 

"I think we'll be really happy here." I told him; and I really meant it. Ryan really had a good eye for stuff like this.

Ryan hugged me tightly, grinning. "I'm so glad you think so Janelle. I really wanted for you to be happy here as well. It wouldn't make me happy to know I pushed you to move out here, if your heart was really back with the city."

I kissed Ryan softly. "My heart is with you."

Ryan took my hand and led me outside. "You have got to see this Janelle!" He exclaimed.

"See what?" I asked him.

"Come here." He walked a few feet from the house and sat down on the ground, then motioned for me to join him, so I did.  "Look up there!" Ryan pointed to the sky above us and I looked up and gasped. I had never seen so many stars before.  The sky was a blanket of twinkling diamonds.  There were millions of stars, as far as the eye could see.

"Ryan!" I breathed.  "This is so beautiful!"

"This is one site you will never see in the city, love.  The city lights make it impossible to see the stars." As we sat there, watching the stars and enjoying the quiet of the night, Ryan suddenly nudged me and pointed.  A comet trailed across the sky.  "Make a wish, babe!" He whispered, closing his eyes to make a wish of his own.  I closed my eyes and thought for only a moment before I made my wish.  I wished for Ryan to fulfill his dream of having a successful farm.

The night was growing late and Ryan said we needed to unload the truck so that we could get to bed since our bedroom suite was still sitting on the truck.  We worked together and brought in the furniture and set it up. The bedroom was the most important to set up first, my mother had told me, so you have a place to sleep.  By the time the room was arranged and set up, I was feeling really tired.  The continuous chorus of yawns coming from Ryan told me that I wasn't the only one.

Ryan dropped the one "bad news" item; which really wasn't all that bad; to me when I suggested we get ready for bed. The house did not have a bathroom yet; but there was an outhouse out back. I dreaded that. I remembered when I was sent to summer camp as a kid and we had to use outhouses. They were smelly and gross. It was the kind of place that you ran in, did your business, and ran out again as quickly as possible.

I heaved a sigh and headed outside to the outhouse. I pulled the door open hesitantly and then I breathed a sigh of relief.  This outhouse wasn't like the horror stories I had to deal with as a child. It was clean, did not smell bad, and it had a little shower stall to wash up in.  I had to admit, even though it meant walking outside to the shower, this wasn't all that bad.  I stepped inside and showered real quickly, went to the washroom and brushed my teeth. I went back into the house and Ryan went out to do his thing before bed.

We got changed for bed and lay there, cuddling. It was so quiet in Appaloosa Plains. I was so used to the constant noise from cars in Bridgeport, it was almost unnerving; but having Ryan at my side it made me feel so much more at ease.  This was our home, where we would live and grow old together. Ryan caressed my cheek, and kissed me tenderly. Then, in the silence of our new home, Ryan and I made passionate love.